Heart 2 Heart (The Ruptured Rapture)
Grief forms the genesis of the Ruptured Rapture, a visual catharsis shaped by emotional psychic impulses in response to the ascension of a Beloved, Twin Soul/Flame. The paradox of such a universal state is unique to every one and has its own dynamism., when explored & expressed through art.
When I was approached by The Good Men Project to offer a personal insight on the journey of how I was dealing with the transition of my Beautiful Beloved Queen Celeste Yarnall, Tiffany Malnar the journalist whose article it was, revealed the depths of what may be deemed Sacred Grief.
Journeying through grief is a paradoxical feeling. I have found myself caught within an energy vortex vibrating between states of rapture and rupture, which is actually the inspiration for the first drawing I have begun working on since Celeste’s passing. The wound of separation is a throbbing ache, an emotional tidal wave where one is left surfing the existential ebb and flow of a new reality and I am reminded of a beautiful Japanese aesthetic practice called kintsugi which is the art of repairing broken ceramics. When an object is broken, the pieces are gathered and reassembled with a gold, silver or platinum-resin mix. This ritual gives the broken object a rebirth and stunning illumination it did not have prior. This is how I perceive the transformation that comes with sacred grief. I have no doubt that the love I shared with my beloved Celeste is the resin mix that illuminates my essence.
The focal motif of the picture is the architype of the Heart form, which echoes throughout the pictorial vista of the painting. A sense of motion ebbing & flowing to perhaps suggest a convergence, merging or separation of elements. The pink clouds that surround the winged figure, seem to float apart or attract a union. Yet, clouds are always shape shifting, which in essence reflects the energy of the painting.
The winged figure, a constant theme within my work representing the metaphoric considerations of myth, mysticism & metaphysics, embodies a sense of the alter-ego in relation to the poetics of grief. Perhaps an Angelic Messenger that carries the healing codes from an Ancient Celestial paradigm synchronized to the contemporary awakened spiritual consciousness spiraling between the multi-dimensional energetic Quantum fields of frequency, vibration & resonance. The wings shaped to form a heart of feathers, fluttering intent to manifest the scared erotic union of a Divine Rapture between Lover & Beloved.
The heart shaped labyrinth with the white heart rock etched with the Heart 2 Heart design, suggests another core factor to the picture. The design of the Heart 2 Heart symbol was born out of collaboration with Celeste and I. Brought into the setting of the labyrinth it offers a universality to the notion that ‘Oneness’ reflects the One Heart, One Love matrix that connects us to all living Matter. Death that portal shift transformed into Rebirth, much as imaginal cells that turn the catapillar into the Butterfly.
The tiny butterfly that appears just above the head of the winged figure, is a direct reference to the Painted Lady butterfly migrations that happened during the California Spring Bloom of 2019. After a Winter of destructive wild fires, followed by heavy rains, the terrestrial planes were reborn into an abundant rich tapestry of color and vegetation.
When I had released a Painted Lady Butterfly at a ritual ceremony to honor the memory of my Beloved Celeste, it coincided with World Labyrinth Day (May 4th).The butterfly release and labyrinth meander afterwards directly inspired & influence the painting.
In Theodore Roethke’s noted poem The Waking, there is a profound echo of the Ruptured Rapture a transcendental evocation that the ‘only constant is change’.
The Waking
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go.
We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.
Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.
This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.